From the Desk of The DBeazy One-Man-Think-Tank

**** You may notice the featured artwork isn’t up to par with what I normally use. There are a couple of reasons why. First of all, Chelsea has encountered some issues with social media and I only recently found out. We will be getting this resolved quickly. Secondly, this post came out of left field after a night of contemplation with my old friend Jim. (Beam) 

The featured artwork is as interesting to me as appropriate since it is my first attempt using “AI” to produce an interpretation I’ll call, “Bourbon In A Glass.”

How many bends are there in the road? Man, the trip is a long one and often seems to go on forever. There’s something big around the next bend, I just know there is. Yes, around the next bend lies the answer. Around the next bend, I’ll reach my goal. The answers to all of life’s questions will be revealed, around the next bend. Like a tumbleweed in the desert, I keep rolling, picking up bits and pieces, bounding over obstacles, around them, some things stick, and others, I just brush off. To quote Elvis Presley, “How many? Oh, how many? I wonder, yes I do. But I really don’t want to know.”

I don’t want to know, really, because the knowledge, all of it, means that there is nothing more. Nothing more. I guess I know what that means. If there is nothing more, then there is no reason to go forth. No reason to continue. It means the end.

But it can’t be the end. Hell to the no! If I rounded the next bend and found the finish, I’ll be the first to scream, “No, it is not the end. It’s not over. It can’t be.” There simply has to be more. Even if it is nothing more than a lie that I can tell myself that I’m getting close.

So it is that I’ve awakened day after day, wasting many and making good sense of some. Today, I began it with a pretty good case of the “red ASS” and with no real reason other than the acknowledgment that I’ve failed to bridle this thing called life, and by God, somebody will suffer because of it. It isn’t fair, no, not by a long shot, but just the same, sometimes there is collateral damage. If you have hitched your wagon to me, then you have to know that we’ll not be taking the expressway toward a defined objective.  I just wasn’t wired that way.

In my time on this planet, I’ve awakened many a day in some God-forsaken place, be it actual or metaphysical, and whether it be good, bad, or indifferent, those closest to me were drawn into the current.  They benefitted or they suffered due to their proximity to me and my journey. If they observed my countenance, they saw that through it all, I did what I felt I had to do and that my journey continued, simultaneously hopeful and apprehensive, seeking the answer that lies around the next bend. And the next bend, and the one after that.

I can only count on the bend ahead, for beyond that, the road may be straight for miles. Or, there may simply be nothing. There may be a tunnel, a great chasm, a brick wall, there is no way of knowing and I guess it is as it should be. Regardless of the distractions that life serves up, the road continues to exist, to unfurl before me. I’ve shaken my head, I’ve shed some tears, and I’ve meandered off onto “the scenic route” more than I care to admit. I’ve yearned to stop and just sit down. I’ve threatened to. But eventually, I emerge from the thicket and summon the acumen to continue to stay the course toward the answers that don’t reside in a textbook. All the while, not fully convinced that I’ve gained the wisdom to recognize them when they come.

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