From the Desk of The DBeazy One-Man-Think-Tank

Note: I guess some of you have noticed my absence from this site. I offer little by way of excuse, other than possibly utter BURNOUT from this existence that we have all endured over the past couple of years.  I will not lie, I took a break from almost everything with the exception of mandatory requirements to keep “both ends meeting in the middle,” to quote an old country song. I ate, slept, went to work, and sat outside by a fire, all the while, finishing the “Of Emerald Eyes and Happenstance” project albeit, in my head.

So I offer this short, belated New Year’s offering. I hope you enjoy this, while I finish “Emerald Eyes.”  Completion is eminent, though I cannot sacrifice quality in order to meet a deadline.

Without further “BS,” I give you: …..

I sit here today, fifteen days into the year of our Lord, 2022.  I sit here in contemplation of the universe, of the planet, of the continent, the state, the county, and even to the barstool in which I currently occupy. More importantly, two weeks past the deadline for the obligatory for most, annual self-evaluation and New Year resolution proclamations. A deadline that has never really meant much to me.

As I sit here today, this dreary, rainy Saturday, a couple of phrases come to mind. Neither phrase is original, but both are phrases that I use often during the course of my interaction with humankind. The first, and most often used is, “Ain’t nothin’ wrong, ain’t nothing right.” The second and similar phrase is, “Can’t kill nothin’ and nothin’ won’t die.” In the North American Deep South, it is common for people to pose the rhetorical question, “How are you doing?” The standard response to this rhetorical question is almost always, “Fine.” When asked the question sometimes, instead of answering “fine,” I will substitute one of those phrases. My intention is to cause the poser of the question to stop for a second, to provoke thought into my response, and hopefully, to make them realize that they had asked a question without really wanting an answer.  I’m guilty of asking the same question mind you, so I’m not preaching. I just mean to note that we are all guilty of going through the motions of life, forgetting that the small gesture of genuine interaction with those we come across has two-way benefits.

As it is possible that I suffer from a bit of Attention Deficit Disorder, my mind tends to jump from topic to topic, so as I thought about small gestures, my mind began to think about other small, but significant things of life. I thought of a seemingly “small” prayer uttered during a church service on February 5, 2017. On Wednesday, February 8, 2017, our home was partially destroyed by fire. I considered the fire an answer to that prayer as it more or less gave us a “clean slate,” an opportunity to clear some clutter, to move forward, and leave some negatives behind.  Then there was the “small” promise that I made to my mother circa 2002. I had sold a motorcycle and I said to my mom, “Mama, I promise you that as long as you are alive, I will not own another motorcycle.” My mother passed away in June of 2013 and as of today, I am on my third bike since her passing. I honored my promise to her, then I honored a promise made to myself.

Sitting here, I considered the first 2 weeks of the New Year and instead of looking forward to the next months for goals and options, I elected to reflect on the past for a bit. Early in December, it was brought to my attention that my wife and a coworker of hers had decided that they wanted to go out somewhere to bring in the New Year. This was an idea that immediately I was NOT fond of. I’ve been supporting bars for 42 years. Since the age of 16, I’d say that I have frequented barrooms, discotheques, honkytonks, sports bars, and patio bars more than most, but of course, less than some. I’ve patronized golf course bars, country club bars, riverbank bars, and a bar or two that you could swim right up to a submerged barstool. In all of those years though, I can remember only 3 times when I was present in a commercial bar on New Year’s Eve. Against my better judgment, we found a slightly upscale place in “Red Stick” and made reservations. We had a great time, listened to a really good band, and shut the place down around 2:00 AM when our Uber delivered us to our hotel.

We ordered Mimosas with our first meal of 2022. The waitress brought glasses of orange juice along with small bottles of champagne. Immediately, I was teleported back to the 1970s and early 1980s, and the image of my dad sitting at the kitchen snack bar as he did on most weekday mornings. It was a time when my dad, my twin brother, and I sat at the kitchen bar for breakfast while my mom stood directly across the bar to eat.  Dad with his mint green coffee cup and his orange juice glass, and my brother and I with glasses of milk, it was just our thing. Over the past 40-something years, I could probably count on one hand, the number of glasses of orange juice I have consumed, but now for 15 days in 2022, orange juice has become a morning staple. I can’t say if a correlation exists between my dad’s daily routine and now mine. Do Bracey men in their late fifties suddenly suffer from a vitamin C deficiency? Or is this just another of those small things that life offers to those who pay attention. Either way, the purchase of those Mimosas on New Year’s morning was a small thing that brought back pleasant memories of a morning routine, back when life was simple and we didn’t even know it.

Today, I consider the small things that occur in life. Yes, small things like an owl sitting on a telephone box during a morning rain. The pink sky as the sun rises or a moon, full and peeking through bare pecan tree limbs on a cool winter’s night.  The taste of some good fried chicken, while an old black man circles the room and serenades female customers in Lorman, Mississippi, are examples of “small things” of recent memory. The sight of a “Heinz 57” puppy, fully dependent and trusting, the clutch of an infant’s hand wrapped around an adult finger, the split-second eye contact of that person who becomes the most important person in the world are other “small things” that come to mind, though each of the things mentioned could easily be replaced by other thoughts of “small things.”  A small choice made that has lasting ramifications, an opportunity missed, due to bad timing, or a small virus that has wrecked almost two full years of the existence of humankind, are a few “small” items that bring about totally opposite and serious connotations.

Needless to say, I’ve begun a list of small things that could go on from now until doomsday. Then, once humankind has been swept from existence, with one “small breath,” our Creator could begin the process of life once again.

I’ll close this day with a list of “smalls” that continues to grow at a rapid pace in my head. I’ll need to put on the brakes though. If not, the building list might morph and yield to darker thoughts, squelching the positive ones and banishing any hope of restful sleep. I’ll accomplish this by settling on the memory of my father and a simpler time, brought on by a New Year’s Day breakfast and a small glass of orange juice.